Fic written by vinegar_dog
Fic read by marieyotzclick HERE for link to podfic
Cover art by shan_3414 click HERE
Set at the beginning of S4
Inspired by a comment left by jacqueleeon one of my entries to another challenge
Characters are not mine but belong to the Jim Henson Company
Rated 15 for some adult themed musings - no real smut!
Word Count 915
Right Hand (PG-15)
Sexual frustration is a bitch!
That’s really what he should have been writing over and over on the walls of this old Leviathan, instead of wormhole equations. Just like when you got detention in school and were given lines to write on the blackboard as punishment.
Sexual frustration is a bitch...
Sexual frustration is a bitch...
John twisted and turned in his hard bed, unable to stop images of naked women – naked Aeryns, to be more precise – flooding his brain and redirecting the blood from there all the way south, causing a constant throbbing and unsatisfied ache that was becoming an altogether too familiar companion.
He tried to take his mind off of the entrancing ghosts in his head but sleep was out of the question and since standing at attention with no hope of a proper attending to isn’t conducive to relaxation, he figured he might as well let the mental griping and moaning fly.
He had never actually counted, but now was as good a time as any, so he decided to torture himself with a proper week, month, year tally of his sexual frustration.
“Let’s see, Johnny boy, the last time was on the Royal Planet with Jena, the Peacekeeper spy. And that was exactly 17 and a half months ago – that is one year and 5 months or 72 weeks! Seriously, John, no wonder you feel like your mind is about to explode, not to mention other things!”
Honestly, that night was kind of a blur anyway, Jena had caught him at a low point – his life frelled up for at least the next 80 cycles, his mind full of regrets about how his last meeting with Aeryn had gone, his heart just plain missing her, the thought of never seeing her again eating away at his insides.
So, in his head at least, the count went even further back, to that night on the false Earth, the night, the only night, he had had with Aeryn…and that was something like 28 months ago, 2 years and 4 months give or take, or 108 weeks. Hard to believe but there you had it!
Hey, he was a good looking guy, he knew that, and back on Earth he’d not lacked for female companionship. Since his first time with Karen Show at 16, the longest he had ever done without was probably about 3 months and he had thought that dry spell hard to cope with at the time! Little did he know he could have lasted this long, on the other hand little did he know he would be catapulted to the other side of the galaxy by a wormhole only to meet the girl of his dreams…who, after frelling his twin senseless had decided she didn’t want to repeat it with yours truly and then up and left, probably forever.
Yeah, he was feeling sorry for himself and he dared anybody in his position not to feel the same!
It hadn’t helped that during Aeryn’s absence, when the crew had been split up between Moya and Talyn, he’d been surrounded by gorgeous, skimpily dressed alien babes.
Chiana just exuded pheromones by the trillion, you could almost smell them when entering a room – he really thought she’d gladly have helped him out with his problem, if he’d asked…but no, no way, she was like a little damaged sister, there is no way he would do that to her or to himself, the guilt would have eaten him from the inside out. And Jool? Jool and her leather corsets and frocks revealing exquisite abs, strong shapely legs and juicy cleavage…god, it was only too easy to imagine THAT scream in the throes of sex! But no, he had never even tried there either…she was too young, too annoying, too much his responsibility. Anyways, both Jool and Chiana were simply, and maybe more importantly, not Aeryn.
But that was all moot now anyhow – ultimately, Chiana had left in search of her brother and Jool had been swallowed up with Moya by that damn wormhole…missed chances he’d never really even wanted to have or to take.
Lying back, all these thoughts swirling in his overheated brain, he suddenly laughed, a sound very much between amusement and desperation actually erupting from his mouth, thinking of DK back in college showing him a drawing in one of the student publications – the drawing of a hand with big eyes painted on and a set of red lips taking up the length of the thumb and the length of the palm going into the index finger making for an obscenely large gaping mouth; and the caption: As a teenager I was constantly abused.
“Well… fact is, John,that you’re all alone now with no immediate prospects of the situation changing and a really bad case of deep blue balls, so get on with it and remedy the situation the only way you can, the only way you have been doing for the best part of the last three frelling years!” He looked at his right hand.
“Pam and her five sisters to the rescue!”
A few weekens later, on Arnessk, Peacekeeper soldiers under Grayza’s command swarmed a now dead Leviathan, Elack, in the hope of finding clues as to John Crichton’s whereabouts and maybe something about his elusive knowledge of wormholes but what they found on one of the now dead walls was a painting of a hand puppet, eyes with long eyelashes, bright red lips and the caption: As a teenager I was constantly abused…and the nightmare repeated itself in my 30’s!
(This is what the PK commandos actually saw on the wall CLICK HERE)