vinegar_dog (vinegar_dog) wrote,
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Challenge 8 - Love is in the Air

DISCLAIMER – non canon ships are not my cup of tea – my mind is too rigid or unimaginative I guess – the only non canon ship that I totally embrace is Vala/Cam, anything else I have ever read still has to even remotely tickle my fancy, however a beloved team mate is running this challenge, so I have gone out of my depth and participated! Most J/A shippers will hate me but hey that’s what came to me! By the way there is no greater J/A shipper than me, so I will just join in the general hatred!


RATED PG 15 for extremely heavy innuendo, however apart from the last one all the pictures are original ones!

Setting - Start of Season 4

John is pining for Aeryn, he is living on hope but in his heart of hearts doubts she might one day come back. It has been a long time since any canoodling has taken place in his life – let’s not forget that the other John got all the hot action, Moya John got none! So officially we are looking at the last time being with that biCOUGHtch Jena, which is what? A cycle and a half ago? I know the guy has two hands and can relieve the pressure by himself but still!

A pretty red haired, blue eyed Kalish literally crashes into his solitary life – his only company for weekens and weekens has been an old senile, narcoleptic Pilot and a banged up (although pretty!) colourful DRD . He is wearing what looks like a sack, has grown a horrifically ridiculous or ridiculously horrific beard and wormhole equations are all he has for company….the man really needs some distraction!

How do I see it going?

Something along the following lines:

They see each other for the first time in the cargo bay…and it is a little bit of a shock!

She thinks his dress sense and beard are breathtakingly frightening

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He thinks she looks like a poodle his mother used to own (and he is also afraid that the shock of the sudden encounter may have caused him to lose control of his bowels a little)

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However a woman is a woman, so John decides to wow her with his best asset

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She hates to admit it, but she is impressed!

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Mollified and also quite hard up after monens of celibacy, she decides that, what the frell, she might as well give him a go but first they need to come to an agreement

Absolutely no deal unless the beard goes – she tells him.

He replies – fine but hell, woman, do something with your hair!

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So anxious to get down to business after the long dry spell, she loosens her hair and he shaves

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Although she would never admit it, she is surprised at his pleasant features once the dead animal on his face is gone and she feels a sudden surge of very unusual flirtiness bubble up in her veins and decides to impress him with her agility and limberness

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And, boy, is he impressed! So he sits her down and tells her a little bashfully what he has been craving for so long – I mean, come on, he is a man after all and it has been frelling ages!

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She is disdainful of his quite distasteful longings however decides to satisfy them mainly to have a bargaining chip to have some of her own kinky ones attended to. So she gets down to work (literally and figuratively)

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Things start smoothly until Kalish techniques reveal themselves to be a little too toothy for human requirements

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It takes a bit of screaming and a lot of cursing until finally Sikozu manages to settle down into the job to John’s satisfaction

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Pain and teeth forgotten, he is soooo grateful, he wants to repay her in kind

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And he frelling does!

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After arns and arns of delightful alien canoodling, John is finally sated

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“What a woman” he thinks after being frelled almost to death “She is like a robot, a sex robot!”

Love is definitely in the air…

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Apologies for the size of the pics being all over the place but I was too lazy to change them all to standard sizes! You can deduct points if if you like, ADS :D
Tags: farscape land
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